10 Terrible National Flags

After a 5 month absence, I've finally gotten off my lazy ass to write a new entry. Umm, sorry about the delay.

This week: Flags so eye-wateringly terrible, their mere existence establishes a prima facie case that their designers were on crack cocaine.

Mozambique
What Went Wrong? Ah yes, the cornerstones of any healthy, flourishing democracy. Books, hoes, and of course, automatic weapons.
Wikipedia Apologia: "Yellow star: The solidarity of the people and the socialistic beliefs of the country. Book: Education. Hoe: Peasants and agriculture. AK-47: The nation’s determination to protect its freedom."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "What do you mean, 'our flag looks violent?!' We'll kill you for that!"

Isle of Man
What Went Wrong? Just . . . look at it. I mean, what the fuck is that?
Wikipedia Apologia: "Manx triskelions feature three running legs, bent at the knee, conjoined at the crotch."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "The Isle of Man: Where your acid trips become nightmarish reality."

Albania
What Went Wrong? It looks like Napoleon Dynamite drew it. "It's a two-headed eagle . . . It's pretty much my favourite animal . . . It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."
Wikipedia Apologia: "The double-headed eagle represents the dual sovereignty of the Emperor (secular and religious) and/or dominance of the Roman Emperors over both East and West."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Albania: We play Dungeons & Dragons."

Northern Mariana Islands
What Went Wrong? Why do they have the Stanley Cup on their flag? They're not Canada.
Wikipedia Apologia: "The symbol behind the white star is a latte stone, a Chamorro house foundation."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Go the Mighty Ducks!"

Guam
What Went Wrong? Who the hell thought it would be a good again to design a flag that doubled as an eye chart? And why the hell do they need the name of the country on it?
Wikipedia Apologia: "In the center of the flag is the coat of arms; an almond shaped emblem, which depicts a proa sailing in Agana Bay near Hagatna, and GUAM colored in red letters."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Guam: Which country are we again?"

Rwanda
What Went Wrong? Laziest. Flag. Ever.
Wikipedia Apologia: ". . . a red-yellow-green tricolour with a large black letter 'R' (to distinguish it from the otherwise identical Flag of Guinea)."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Rwanda: Give us an R!"

Libya
What Went Wrong? Well, it's a bit . . . bland, isn't it? And given Libya's geographic location, it can hardly be argued that it's representative of lush, rolling fields . . .
Wikipedia Apologia: "It is the only national flag in the world with just one color and no design, insignia, or other details."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Libya: We didn't even try."

Moldova
What Went Wrong? So let me get this straight . . . the eagle is not only carrying a sceptre and an olive branch, but also a cross in its beak, and a shield across its belly? And it can still fly? And if you think that eagle is tough, check out Moldova's official War Flag.
Wikipedia Apologia: "a vertical tricolor of blue, yellow, and red, charged with the coat of arms of Moldova (an eagle holding a shield charged with an aurochs) on the center bar on the obverse side only."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Moldova: Our eagles kick your eagles' asses."

Uganda
What Went Wrong? Is that a rooster on the flag? Also, the clashing colours make my eyes want to bleed.
Wikipedia Apologia: "The three colours are representative of African peoples (black), Africa's sunshine (yellow), and African brotherhood (red being the colour of blood, through which all Africans are connected)."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Uganda: We don't want to brag . . . but check out our huge black cock."

The Falkland Islands
What Went Wrong? Take a close look at the coat of arms. That's right . . . it's a sheep, riding an island, on top of a ship. Uh, huh?
Wikipedia Apologia: "The ship represents the Desire, the vessel in which the English are reputed to have discovered the Falkland Islands in 1592. The motto "Desire the Right" also refers to the ship's name. The ram represents sheep-farming, until recently the principal economic activity of the islands. The tussock grass shows the most notable native vegetation."
What the Flag Says About the Country: "Sheep, grass, and desire. An' that's all you need to know 'bout these parts, stranger."

Hope you enjoyed it - if you have any death threats, comments, or abuse, I'd love to hear from you.